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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Ah, That Great American Pastime-No, the Other One...

Now that cooler temperatures have arrived 
(but before the onset of a rumored nasty winter)
I thought it might be nice to sit back and ruminate 
on the traditional pastime and leisure activity that all of America enjoys. 


Well, yeah, close. I've spent many a lazy summer afternoon sitting in the ballpark drinking myself senseless 
(you know what I'm talking about) 
while hoping I'm parked far enough from home plate to still have a windshield later, but I'm actually referring to that other American tradition and leisure time activity that one can never get enough of...


Yep. Midget Wrestling.

I was recently privileged to be right there on the front row to witness the 
MWO World Championship match in a brutal battle waged just across the Arkansas River in North Little Rock at Dickey-Stephens Park, home of the Arkansas Travelers.

Psssst...MWO is Midget World Order-just pretend you already knew that. I did.



Facing off that day was the reigning world champion, Little Kato 
(escorted by the intrepid Lance Restum of the Arkansas Travelers) 
seen here about to engage in a desperate battle to remain on top as he prepares to enter the ring for the very last time, his impending retirement mere minutes away and a look of grim determination etched upon his chiseled features. 

(gosh, I do get carried away with myself sometimes, don't I?)



Equally determined 
(and rather majestic looking I might add) 
the challenger, Beautiful Bobby, walked toward the ring
(also escorted by Lance Restum-AKA "Sexy Legs")
planning to see Little Kato off into retirement with a butt whipping befitting what he hopes will be a has-been ex-champ, sent home alone, the adoring crowds fallen silent, his glory days behind him and nothing, not even a championship belt, to show for it. 


But at that moment, Little Kato was obviously a crowd favorite, a role he just as obviously relished, spending a little time here to hang with his homeboys for pictures, fist bumps, and a few words of encouragement.


And Little Kato, a crowd pleaser to the end, played up the role of retiring champion to the hilt, basking in their unbridled adoration, secure in the age-old principle that everyone loves a winner.


And as the adoring crowd watches intently...


...Beautiful Bobby sneaks up behind Little Kato while the champ is otherwise engaged, demonstrating that Beautiful Bobby's adoration was directed more toward that championship belt itself and not the champ. 


The surprise sneak attack catches Little Kato off guard and as the match gets underway in earnest it appears that Beautiful Bobby is playing to win and he intends to dominate...


...and dominate...

...and dominate...


...and dominate some more...


...leaving poor Little Kato to do little more than be a hapless spectator to the ignoble end of a life-long career, doomed to leave the ring with only a headache but no championship belt.


Suddenly, a trash can appears, and is placed immediately into use. Obviously, somebody had slipped a bribe to the maintenance crew on Beautiful Bobby's behalf and he wasted no time using the innocuous looking container as a potentially lethal weapon against Little Kato and his dream of leaving his beloved sport at the peak of his game. 

But, you know what they say...


...what's good for the goose...
...the best laid plans...
...oh, what a tangled web (oh, stop it!)...


And now, the match being on somewhat more level of a playing field...


Little Kato begins to stage his comeback.


And what a comeback as the look on Little Kato's face turns from a mask of startled anxiety to the giddy visage of whosyourdaddy triumph.


The look on Beautiful Bobby's face made me think he was beginning to imagine other places he might rather be right at that moment.


Like maybe a barbershop. It just goes to show, skip a hair appointment and bad things can happen in a sport where a headful of beautiful hair is little more than a place for a bald guy to stand once he gets both your attention and your face into the floor.

And that day, for Beautiful Bobby at least, bad things happened.


Little Kato, on the other hand,
his dream of going out a winner intact, 
basks in his glory while contemplating a new career...


Star pitcher for the Arkansas Travelers....

Until next time....

I'd like to thank Lance Restum and the Arkansas Travelers Minor League Baseball Club for allowing me to waste their time and indulging me in my quest to get hot and sweaty while lugging around a brick of a camera and (hopefully) looking important. With their cooperation and assistance, I was able to get some photos that I'm really proud of along with some valuable experience in dodging foul balls and pairing the right hot dog with the right beer for a five-star ballpark culinary experience. You guys are the best and I hope you'll invite me back next summer. -Dale

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